


Visitation

by Jay_Lee_Leuis



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 13:40:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16535636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay_Lee_Leuis/pseuds/Jay_Lee_Leuis
Summary: All Winn Adami had ever wanted was to speak with the prophets.





	Visitation

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted Kai Winn and some good ole' fashioned religious angst.

She found herself in a strange place. Deep Space Nine, the promenade. It either was, or -- it wasn’t. Adami stared through its empty corridors, wondering, somehow unafraid. A voice called to her and she turned. It was the Emissary - or, like the station, it wasn’t. Adami gazed into his face, saw the same warm brown skin, discerning eyes, but beautiful, terrible, and suddenly she understood. She fell to her knees.

“Prophet,” Adami whispered. More words than she could speak tumbled through her mind, so she said nothing, silent, trembling.

The Prophet regarded her with a distant expression. “You are of Bajor,” he observed. Sisko’s voice, speaking from Sisko’s face, but it cut through her like a bitter wind on a cold day.

Adami bowed her head, unable to look at his face. “I am your servant, Prophet.”

“Servant.” It was an observation, almost a question. Adami felt the Prophet take a step closer. “You are a servant of Bajor.”

“I am,” Adami answered. A servant of Bajor, he had said, and not of the Prophets. There was something in the statement that eluded her, something impossible to understand, and equally impossible to deny. “If that is your wish.”

The Prophet ignored her response. “Why do you wish to speak with us?” he said.

Adami turned her face upwards, tears streaking down her face. She spoke almost without volition, words bursting forth like water from an underground geyser, like blood from a wound. “I have tried to follow you my whole life, I have tried to feel your love for us, for Bajor, I have taught the people to have faith, faith in _you_ , but it’s a faith I have not felt in my own heart, and I have tried - I have tried so hard, please believe me, I wanted it, but I didn’t- I didn’t-”

She choked on the words. She could not continue. Surely the Prophets already knew her heart, surely they already knew how she struggled. The one wearing Sisko’s form reached out to her. “You wish to believe.”

“ _Yes_.” Adami choked back a sob. “Please. You have seen my heart, you know my Pah. You know I only want to believe.”

The Prophet furrowed his brows in puzzlement. “Then,” he said in a tone of utter confusion, “believe.”

The vision was gone as suddenly as it arrived, and she was back in the runabout, with Sisko, the real Sisko and not a Prophet wearing his face. He inclined his head to her. “You spoke with them.”

Adami didn’t respond. She couldn’t. Yes, she spoke with Prophets. It was all she had ever wanted.

Sisko gave her a small smile, sympathetic. “Now you understand.”

Adami smiled back, ignoring the feeling of her heart falling to her stomach. She didn’t understand. The Prophets had told her to believe. And yet she was the same. Her Pah was unchanged. She was not worthy. The weight in her stomach settled, grounding her somehow, and she felt a strange, calm clarity wash through her. She would no longer have to live in doubt. Now she knew she was not worthy. But she would continue. She had too -- their fledgling government needed stability, and the people needed guidance. This was no time for the Kai to step down. Perhaps she could not truly serve the Prophets, but she could continue to serve Bajor. Perhaps that would be enough.


End file.
